Made it. Just in time we have an Ebola Czar.
Or is he an E Coli Czar? Or is it E-mail Czar? Does he replace the Drug Czar?
So many Czars, so few Russians.
Apparently the Disease Czar has no medical background, but is an administrator. So when those Ebola cases start rolling in, at least we’ll have an accurate bed count.
There’s no vaccine to prevent the spread of Ebola, so it seems the best anti-Ebola plan is to stay out of Africa. (Wait, that’s a book and a movie, right?) So much for the burgeoning tourism industry in South Sudan.
The good news is that apparently Nigeria has been declared Ebola-free. How did they figure that out, by testing every Nigerian? Just by naming this new Disease Czar, the Ebola germs have gone away. He just looked at them germs and they dried up.
What a guy! I’m sorry, What a Czar! (Heard he has a daughter named Anastasia.)
Since the Czar can’t do any needle work, his main job will be to prevent widespread panic as we all flee willy-nilly running from them Ebola germs. (See “The Walking Dead” on AMC.) He’ll hit the airwaves and the Internet to let all Americans know that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself, and all flights from Africa, too.
But to show how little we have to fear, the Czar met a plane from Libya when it landed at a secluded place at an unnamed airport and kissed everyone getting off the plane. He did not get Ebola, but all the Libyans wound up with the whooping cough.
Nah, this Czar has no fear of any Ebola, but I heard he’s deathly afraid of guys named Lenin, Trotsky and Stalin.